As a high performer, you’re the employee every manager dreams of. You are productive and motivated and consistently exceed expectations. But this stellar performance can come at a cost in workplace relationships.
Many high achievers face jealousy, resentment, and even outright hostility from coworkers. You’ve seen it all if you’re a top performer struggling with workplace drama or a manager trying to support your star employees.
Here’s what is happening and how you can effectively manage the challenges of high performers in the workplace.
The downside of being a high-performer
High performers are intrinsically motivated to excel. High performers can be a variety of Motivational Dimensions, but we often find Achievers and Drivers propelled to perform above and beyond expectations. Their success can cause relationship rifts in the workplace. These problems can be caused by:
- Jealousy and resentment. Your success can make others feel insecure about their own performance.
- Accusations of brown-nosing. Coworkers may assume you’re sucking up to management rather than genuinely excelling.
- Unreasonable expectations. Once you set a high bar, you’re expected to consistently overperform or even take on others’ work.
- Social exclusion. You may be left out of social activities as coworkers bond over complaining about work.
- Sabotage attempts. In extreme cases, threatened coworkers may try to undermine your efforts.
- Organizational exclusion. Organizations that don’t know how to manage you might omit you from meaningful leadership conversations that impact your career and daily job.
Why the backlash?
It might seem counterintuitive. Aren’t we all on the same team? Shouldn’t everyone celebrate a high performer when they knock it out of the park? Unfortunately, many average performers aren’t as self-aware. And many times, the backlash comes from unresolved unconscious hurts that they may not be aware of.
- Insecurity. Your success highlights others’ shortcomings, triggering defensiveness.
- Perceived unfairness. Coworkers may feel the playing field isn’t level if you’re getting more recognition than they are.
- Disruption of status quo. Your high standards and achievements can be seen as making everyone else look bad.
- Resentment of extra work. Your productivity may create the perception that there’s more work for others to keep up.
Strategies for high performers
If you’re facing negative repercussions for your achievements, there are ways to mitigate these side effects.
Stay focused on your motivations
What are you there to do in your job? Who are you serving, and what is your motivator? If you can stay focused where it counts — on your career, customers, and team — the rest will often take care of itself. Don’t let external factors that don’t really matter distract you from your purpose and motivations.
Practice humility
Avoid bragging or downplaying others’ contributions. Share credit generously. If there’s any way to bolster team accolades, go for the team win. Everyone already knows that you’re a key player. Share some of the limelight, and that limelight will inevitably reflect upon you.
Offer to help struggling coworkers
If you see a coworker struggling, reach out and offer help. Perhaps you’re working with a highly technical person who doesn’t have your communication skills. Support them in whatever they’re trying to accomplish, or offer to mentor them where they’re struggling.
Show vulnerability
Let others see that you face challenges, too. Don’t hide your mistakes. And ask for help when you aren’t perfect. Allowing coworkers to shine will improve your results and give your colleagues a sense of pride by helping where you need it most. This interdependence builds stronger teams and stronger relationships.
Build relationships
Make an effort to connect with coworkers personally outside of work tasks. Instead of spending time talking about your weekend, ask them about theirs. Go deep in learning more about their family, friends, or hobbies. When others see that you care about them, they’re less likely to feel negativity when you’re winning.
Focus on team goals
Frame your contributions in terms of how they benefit the entire team or organization. Wherever possible, shine light on team accomplishments. When writing, use “we” more often than “I,” even when you know it’s something that was your contribution.
Address issues directly
If you sense tension or resentment, have honest conversations with coworkers. Talk about your perceptions and how you feel. Don’t accuse others of poor treatment. Instead, take ownership of your feelings and ask your colleagues for support in working through them. Say, “When you did (or said) [specific thing], it made me feel…” Your honest humility might show them another side of you that they may not have seen before.
Advice for managers
If you’re managing high performers, consider these strategies:
- Recognize team efforts. Balance individual praise with acknowledgment of group accomplishments.
- Foster a collaborative culture. Encourage knowledge sharing and mentoring between high performers and other team members.
- Set clear expectations. Ensure job descriptions and performance metrics are well-defined for all employees.
- Address negative behaviors. Don’t tolerate bullying, sabotage, or other toxic actions toward high performers.
- Provide growth opportunities. Offer stretch assignments and advancement paths for all motivated employees.
- Encourage work-life balance. Model healthy boundaries to prevent burnout and resentment.
Coping with rejection
Despite your best efforts, you may still face some level of social rejection at work as a high performer. Here are some ways to manage those feelings:
- Seek support outside work. Build a strong network of friends and mentors who appreciate your drive.
- Talk to your manager. Let your manager guide you through the conflict. Don’t be stoic; let them know how you feel and let them help you.
- Focus on your motivations. Remember why you strive for excellence and let that fuel you. Dive into your personal Motivational Dimensions to solidify your intrinsic motivation rather than relying on extrinsic forces.
- Practice self-care. Prioritize your mental and physical health to stay resilient.
- Consider your options. If the work environment becomes truly toxic, be open to seeking opportunities elsewhere after exhausting all other options.
- Reframe the situation. View challenges as opportunities for personal growth and developing leadership skills.
- Rejection is protection. Take a longer-range view of the situation. Sometimes, not getting what you want keeps you open to future opportunities.
High performance comes with unique interpersonal challenges
You can navigate these waters more smoothly by staying aware of how your success impacts others and actively working to build positive relationships. Remember that your passion, motivation, drive, and achievements are assets – with the right approach, you can leverage them to empower your entire team and organization.
